Single mom and child showered with fairy dust!
I have just gotten over a week of being sick, sick, sick! (Basically I was as close to the flu as you can be without actually having the satisfaction of saying, “I have the flu”…which is actually not that satisfying…). In any case, a fairy sprinkled fairy dust in our household while I had the flu. That’s right. How do I know, you ask? Well, I was basically glued to my couch for an entire six days and you know what my eight year old did? Everything I asked her to do! She got me water, she got me Gatorade. She went into the closet to get extra Kleenex boxes. She said she’d be happy to eat whatever was for dinner – and she did. She got ready for bed without prodding, her forehead crinkled with concern for me. She finished her homework immediately after coming home from school each day. And she let me sleep – even on Saturday! And when I would wake up from my phlegm-ridden haze, she’d say sweetly with furrowed brows, “How do you feel now Mamma?” (I love it when she calls me ‘Mamma’). Bet you want the number of that fairy now, don’t you? What a wonderful change of behavior; we are in a new stage, I thought to myself.
Ha ha.
By Monday, I was still feeling a little slow, but now not as ill as the previous few days. And you know what happened? The fairy spell had run out. We spilled right back into the usual pattern…mom, I can’t brush my teeth because this is my favorite Scooby Doo episode…I’ll do my homework later…is there anything else to eat…I’ll only go to bed if you come in twice to tuck me in and we can talk more…do I have to go to bed…in a minute, in a minute, in a second, mom… I can’t because…
As you can imagine, this got me pretty frustrated. What had happened? I was just about to blow my lid when I looked over at her and noticed something. She was sitting and watching TV in her normal way – on her head on the couch (yes, like Mork from Ork)…and she was smiling. The furrowed brows were gone. As were the crinkles in her forehead. No more worried looks in my direction. Mommy wasn’t sick anymore. And she was totally carefree, as a kid should be. All was right with her world once again. To her surprise, I gave her the biggest hug and smoochiest kiss possible. I told her I was really impressed by how good she had been when I was sick. Then I turned off the TV and told her to go brush her teeth.
51% of single mothers work full time!
This is an informative and quick read about an increasing trend: more single mothers are working full time….probably not a shock for most of us, but still interesting to see the data. The study was published by Statistics Canada, a government agency well known for gathering and analyzing data. The time period studied was 1980 – 2005. Happy reading!
http://www.singleparentgossip.com/867/gossip/in-numbers-51-of-single-moms-work-full-time-jobs/
51% of single moms work full time jobs!
This is an informative and quick read about an increasing trend: more single mothers are working full time….probably not a shock for most of us, but still interesting to see the data. The study was published by Statistics Canada, a government agency well known for gathering and analyzing data. The time period studied was 1980 – 2005. Happy reading!
http://www.singleparentgossip.com/867/gossip/in-numbers-51-of-single-moms-work-full-time-jobs/
3 Single Mom Traps and How to Avoid Them
1) Always feel like you’re short on time? What happens when you are presented with one more thing to add to your TO DO list? If you are like the single working moms I know, you say something like this in your head: “hmm, I’ll just plan better and squeeze that in between task number 2 and task number 3. I’ll just move faster…” Never do I hear, “I’ll stop doing these other two things. “ My daily list used to go something like this: get up, make beds, get ready for work, get daughter ready for school, feed us both, throw dishes in sink, drop off daughter at school, get myself to work, beat all my work goals, be available to work people 24/7, get daughter from school, talk to friends and family on phone en route, grocery shop, cook an extraordinarily healthy, organic meal, help complete homework, play, get kid ready for bed, put her to bed, open laptop, fall asleep on laptop. REPEAT. Not surprisingly, I ended up completely de-energized by the end of every week. And when it all caught up with me, I ended up on a medical leave! My advice? Prioritize…but this time, I mean for real. Did I have to beat every work goal I set for myself? No. Was the world going to fall apart if the beds weren’t made? No. Would it be ok to have healthy meals, but freeze some along the way? How about buying some healthy meals, not always making them? How about letting a pizza sneak in every now and then? Yep, also ok. My shortness of time was created by…well, me. Some things really are ‘must do’s’ – like eating. It’s just that I created an extra frenzy around the situation by wanting everything to be perfect. I needed to relax a bit, and once I did, I saw that it wasn’t a big deal if we had hot dogs one night. Or if my daughter fell asleep in her clothes on the couch. The world didn’t fall apart. I had been the culprit the whole time! Ok, so you are short on time. Think about everything you did today – and everything you seem to do every day. Now really, do you have to do all of those things? Are you trying to be perfect? Can some tasks go to an ‘every other’ day or week schedule? Your action here: Are you the culprit of something that’s driving you crazy in your life? Eliminate it. If you can’t figure that out – eliminate one task you do daily. Just stop doing it for 1 week and see what happens. Just stop it and you’ve created time for yourself (hooray)! At the end of the week, ask yourself, what happened? How did it feel?
2) Are you guilty of guilty talk? Did you just tell me in #1 that you are short on time? Then you really, really don’t have time to waste on speaking negatively to yourself sweetie! Who cares if the bed isn’t made? Yes, you wanted to spend more time with your child, but a work emergency called you away. You haven’t called your best friend back for two weeks. Ok, it is what it is – it happens to all of us. You are doing the best you can. Instead, take five minutes to write down anything and everything you did manage to do this week. I got to my laptop by 9:00am three times this week, with my writer’s hat on. I made my daughter a healthy lunch every day this week, with extra TLC. And I managed to get myself to bed on time three times this week. This list is a much better use of my time than ranting and raving at myself for everything I didn’t do. I’m doing the best I can, just like everybody else! Your action here: stop beating yourself up. Give yourself three compliments a day for a week. How does that feel? Can’t think of three per day? Call a close friend, I bet he or she can think of three things for you.
3) When did you last focus on…yourself? Yes, I said you, not your kidlets! (I know you are already focused on him/her/them). Part of what you want to teach them is that it’s important to do things just for yourself, just to make yourself happy. Doing things for others is important, but not at the expense of yourself. Get a massage, sneak in a manicure. Can’t afford that? See if a friend can watch your child, and take your favorite book to a coffee shop (you can get the book at the library). Go for a walk. Sketch a picture. Visit a museum on a free entry day. Clear out a space in your closet and make it your mediation corner. Write in your journal with your favorite candle lit nearby. Rent a chick flick. Can you find 30 minutes a month, 30 minutes a week, to take yourself on a date? Do you want your child to be able to do that? Then show him or her it’s important. Your action here: do something just for yourself. You are going to be a happier mommy!
For all parents…your kids and healthier eating habits
A fifth grade class in Mississippi is off to a healthy change…each student started keeping a journal in which he or she tracked the number of servings of fruits and vegetables they ate each day. Based on what the students said, it’s led to some real insights for them – and it has changed their eating behavior! Quotes include: “I learned that my habit was to eat chips or cookies for my afternoon snack, but it wasn’t hard to eat fruit or raw vegetables instead”, “I had to ask my mom to buy more fruit to have on hand” , and “writing it down made me pay more attention to what I ate.” Hmmm, methinks I could learn a thing or two from these 12 and 13 year olds! Check out the article below…
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009910130318
Single Mom Falls in Love…Again…
Falling in love and staying there is all about the little things, isn’t it? Okay, the big things help, but really, I relish feeling it in everyday moments. Last Monday, I made a feeble offer to cook food for the three of us, me, my boyfriend and my daughter. My boyfriend remarked that I looked tired (which I was) and proposed we order Thai food. A smile appeared on my face and I nodded; but my little eight year old angel shook her head, no. “I had Thai last night at daddy’s house mom.” To which my boyfriend said, “Why don’t I go to the store, honey, and I’ll make us some stroganoff, okay?” My smile returned and I nodded again. He went to the store, made us a delicious meal that filled my condo with comforting aromas; but alas, my little one was upset. “Why did he get to pick our dinner and not us?” Sigh. So, some guilt later, I went to bed. The next day, my boyfriend and I were in the car and he said, “I have an idea. Let’s take her (my daughter) to the grocery store tomorrow night and we’ll let her pick out whatever she wants to have for dinner and then go home and make it.” If he hadn’t been driving, I would have leapt into his lap and showered him with kisses. And that’s why I fell in love with him again, a mere 14 months into our relationship.
Helpful tips for all parents: get organized
Hi Single Moms: This article has some great tips on getting organized when it comes to your kids – and thus creating some time for yourself! Actually, it’s helpful whether you are a single parent or a married parent. I could really use a “home base” as this article proposes, to organize my daughter’s school stuff, forms, activities and everything else. Right now, our “base” is all over the living room. Surprisingly, this system is not working – haha…there’s also a good reminder in here about asking for help, which is something a lot of us have trouble doing. Please share any other ideas you may have.
p.s. I am in no way advocating or not advocating Fox news :-)…it’s really about the article!
Reading a book at bedtime…mom zero, kid one.
One night last week, as we began our bedtime rituals, I told my daughter I would read one book to her if she got into bed at time (which I admit I only do sporadically now that she can read – she’s 8). She immediately turned into a masterful negotiator, “Mom, two books.” And of course I stuck to my guns, repeating that I would read one book of her choice if she got into bed on time. Minutes later, she called me to tell me she was ready. I got to her room and she was sitting in her bed, with a playful, “I win” look on her face. She had picked out two books: The Monster at the End of This Book and Duck for President. Now she had me, those are two of my favorite books, along with Go Dog Go. “Mom, if you don’t read these two to me, I’m getting Go Do Go too.” She had me. I read both books to her that night; after all she had the better strategy. And I decided to read her more books at night, despite the fact that she can read.
No, single mothers should not be stigmatized
Articles like this one make me sad about how easy it is for people to opine about all that is wrong with single mothers. I am Indian, and I have felt the eye of judgment pass over me as a single mother both within my community and outside of it. Does anyone think I planned to go into a marriage and then divorce? No. It’s the last thing I wanted for my child or myself. This article implies that maybe a “stigma” with single motherhood would lead to fewer daddy-less children. Maybe – but is that what we are after? Aren’t we after a loving home, good parenting and a stable environment? Do I want someone to stick around because they are more worried about what the neighbors will say and not at all concerned about parenting responsibilities? And, if someone is a single mother by choice, that’s her choice. Should she not fulfill her desire to be a parent if she can? I think so. What do you think? http://amyalkon.mensnewsdaily.com/?p=752
Are you munching on kiddie snacks?
Are you munching on kiddie snacks? This article is a short and sweet reminder about healthy eating habits for all of us moms…I’ve tried the “brush your teeth right after you eat so you don’t snack” trick – it really works! I am lucky on this front though…my daughter is a healthy eater so we usually have good food options around. Like anyone, I do give in those pre-cooked whole chickens every now and then…but really, do I have to munch mindlessly on cookies? No, but it sure is fun!
Sneaking Kids’ Foods Is Ruining Your Diet! | momlogic.com
http://go.meebo.com/momlogic.com/6g
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