Sorry Purple, I had to pick Hippo
What a nutty week I’ve had! Ok, a nutty year (and an obvious lack of diligence on my part when it comes to writing anything…) Anyway, my daughter and I were out for a walk and she decided we had to play a game: “Mom, you must pick between one thing or the other…you [...]
Cherished Memory #503: You Are Such A @#$%^!
Cherished Memory #503 Scene Setting & Characters: One innocent Mommy, driving from point A, to B, to C, to (sigh)…on a Saturday morning with her then-six-year-old daughter in the car. ACTION! Kid: “Mom, you know Blah Blah, from my class? ’Blah blah says “X@!#XX!” all the time and so does So-and-So.” Mom: “Really? Oh my [...]
Training Bras and Booger Eating
You may remember me writing about kissing kids (and fainting mommies) not too long ago. And now, I know what you’re thinking. How could a training bra possibly be linked to eating boogers. Am I right? Of course I am. I’ll tell you how they’re related. Read on at your own risk. 1:12:00pm Mommy: Driving [...]
Kissing Kids, Fainting Mommies
“Mom, did you know Lauren kissed a boy last year? She didn’t tell her mom so don’t tell her ok?” Who is Lauren? Who is Lauren?! How old is she? What the hell is going on? “Umm…do I know Lauren?” Who IS she?! Who IS she?! “Remember she has blond hair, and blah, blah, blah…?” [...]
Humping: An Eight-Year-Old’s Inquisition
Episode I: 6 weeks ago at PAWS Animal Shelter “Mom, come look at how cute these dogs are!” “Where Honey?” “Right there! They’re dancing and one doggie has his paws on the other doggie’s hips from behind and they’re bouncing – it’s so cute!” <Unmistakable, not so muffled giggle of other onlookers> “Err…” drag kid [...]
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