Floating Hippo

What a nutty week I’ve had! Ok, a nutty year (and an obvious lack of diligence on my part when it comes to writing anything…)

Anyway, my daughter and I were out for a walk and she decided we had to play a game: “Mom, you must pick between one thing or the other…you MUST pick only one of the two.”  (Emphasized immediately, in case the rules were not clear.)

I nodded back, amused, already planning to multi-task in my head.

“Ok, what would you pick, Mom, Hippos or Purple? You can only have one and never have the other for the rest of your life!  The. rest. of. your. life. Mom.”

What?  I was expecting “Hippo or Giraffe” and “Purple or Red.” But Hippo vs. Purple?

I started to contemplate. Well purple is kind of like my favorite color, blue. And could I stand not to see a lavender plant ever again? But Hippos are so chubby and cute…and I will always look skinny next to one….and I do love Hippo and Dog singing Lion Sleeps Tonight on YouTube (a must see)…and what about grape popsicles?  Could I do without dark purple eye shadow? Have you ever seen a hippo float? It’s adorable (obvious from the photo above from vacation to Animal Kingdom this summer).

I did this for a good 12 minutes and my daughter never rushed me – this was a serious game.

In the end, I chose Hippo over Purple – (Purple, I want you to know that it was so close.

My daughter paused and gave me a serious look, then a quick nod of her head to mark the solemn moment we just had.

I have a strange urge to draw a hippo, and color her purple; don’t you?

Ha

Hello Mommas:

Have a spectacular Mother’s Day! My day began with a card from my little Moose proclaiming that she was perfect in every way because I was such a good mom !

Then Hubby gave me a wonderful card saying that I was a great role model for our girls…and he also mentioned how excited he was about the Soccer game that was starting in a few hours (what?)….

We are off to a luncheon at a local French Bistro.

I wish up on you no dirties (diapers, clothes, kids, dishes), lots of bloomies (flowers, anything from Bloomingdales), and a minimum of one hour of absolutely nothing to do!

Have a wonderful day Ladies!

Swati

One mommy, calling the Vet: ” Hi.  Orzo seems to be rubbing his bottom on the rug ALL the time now…umm…I understand things can get itchy every now and then, I mean I am a mom….I mean, uh, well it’s just that it’s ALL the time and uh…”

Receptionist at Vet, most likely rolling her eyes: “Ma’am? Sorry to interrupt you. But it sounds like he needs his anal glands expressed.”

Mommy: “Excuse me?”

Receptionist: “Well the anal glands secreet a liquid that should release when Orzo has a bowel movement but sometimes little dogs have trouble with that.”

Mommy: praying not to hear “anal glands” again.

Mommy: “Excuse me?”

Receptionist: “Can you bring him in now?  We have time to to express his anal glands right now.”

Mommy: oh God she said it.

Mommy: “Uhhh. Right.”

Interlude where the mommy drives the Orzo-doggie to the Vet and they take him to the *back*…he comes back out looking violated.

Vet: “Here’s the little guy Miss. Now you will have to bring him in about every 4-6 weeks to have his anal glands manually expressed.”

Mommy:  Does everyone around here love saying that? Like I like saying ‘Holy Crap!’ Is that what it is?!?

Mommy: ” Uhhh….excuse me?”

Vet: “And we do charge $25 each time so there’s a lot of people who just have us show them how to do it at home….do you want me to show y…?”

DOGGIE DOC SAY WHAT???!!!

Mommy and Orzo back away slowly, leaving the vet with one finger in the air.

Hellooooo Everyone!

I am SO sorry about my long absence!  Life has been a whirlwind, with an engagement in August, and then our wedding on New Years Eve 2010…add on a new job that I started in January, and, well, I am just coming up for air!

So on to the first and most important bit of news – I am MARRIED!  And (drum roll please) we can now call  ”J.” by his actual name, John.

So, coming back to the title of this post, John did say “I Do.” Right after we read our vows to each other our warm, charming, and twinkle-eyed Justice of the Peace said,”Now John, I am about to ask you a question to which there is only one right answer…”  Both of us, as well as the twenty family members we had in attendance, chuckled in amusement and joy.  And then, just like that, we said our “I Do’s and we were married!

Everything was just as I wanted it – well…er…the cake was the wrong color, the Champagne glasses were no where to be seen for our first toast, and the wait staff began to cut the cake before WE cut the cake!!  But, guess what? We didn’t care because we were as giddy as a kid on a magic carpet…suffice to say nothing could have torn the million dollar smiles from our faces, nothing.

How does it feel?   Wonderful.  You see, everything is “right with the world when we are together.”*

* Quote from my vows .

I will be back soon!

XO

Swati

ps Here is a photo of us right after the wedding…

I was tickled as can be when Swati asked me to write a blog about the two most important things in my world… my daughters. First because I think Swati is just the coolest Mom and person…EVER. And I love to talk about my girls.

I should probably give you a little intro. Four years ago I was single. Four years ago, I had a lot more control of my life. I also had a lot more shoes from Nordstrom’s.

So even though I had all of that stuff… something was missing (or someone).

So in the spring of 2007 I filled out the paperwork and began the adoption process.

Now don’t get me wrong… there were many years of soul searching before this decision. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say ….yep… you know I have enough shoes; we are good, think I’ll get me a baby. I had thought long and hard about this. The timing was right; I was certain. And seven short months later I was a Mom. Yep only 7. And let me tell you that was a Holy Shit moment when I got the call. I was figuring at least 15 months. ACCCKK! I couldn’t even have gotten pregnant and had a baby in that short of a time frame.

My daughter was born in Moldova. Never heard of it? You are not alone.

Moldova is a country between the Ukraine and Romania. It’s small and poor… really poor… the poorest country in Europe. Moldova is also the largest source of trafficked girls in Western Europe. Yep… that part really sucks. I could go on and on about this (and do provide more information on this on my own blog is you are interested KO’s Talkin’ or you can check out Carolina Adoption Services).

The net is that this country is so poor and many children are orphaned because of poverty. It is sad…very sad. But for me it was the avenue to a family… a beautiful family.

And then, don’t you know, I did it again. I adopted my second daughter in May of 2010. So now we are three, three happy girls.

And how are we doing? Oh honey… its just madness.

And… I am happy, truly happy.

I hear all the time “I don’t know how you do it”. Sometimes I don’t either. But you do… you just do what you have to.
I don’t work out quite as much as I used to.
I don’t eat out as often.
I drink more wine (that is the God’s honest truth).
I am tired … too much. I mean I know that tired, the one they tell you about…
Where you feel like you may throw up. I know that all too well.

Both my girls have done great. They are sisters… completely. About 5 weeks after I got home with my second child, I looked in the rear view mirror to see the girls holding hands across their car seats. I did cry… I did. There they were just holding hands and giggling. It was perfect.

And my oldest tells everyone she sees – “This is my baby sister… see? She is MY baby sister.”

We have had some adjustments for sure. For one, we have a small house. And there is little girl crap EVERYWHERE. Honestly if I step on one more dropped pancake or lost doll accessory I may scream.

It’s been adjustment just having two little ones. Here is the thing… it is not good to be outnumbered… ever.
I mean before at least we could go toe to toe. Now? Usually one or the other needs apple juice or to pee or a can’t find a toy… And they fight… good Lord…for no reason… over a block or a doll or a found piece of candy on the floor.

What do I miss? Not the shoes (although can anyone touch the Nordstrom’s shoes selection…can they?)
Me.
Truth be told…
I miss Me sometimes.
I miss quiet time to reflect on the day…
Maybe to pray or meditate.
I miss petting my cat by myself… in quiet.
I miss not having snot on my business suits.
I miss feeling attractive… because I didn’t have time to primp and get myself together… mostly because I was doing stuff for the girls.
I miss that stuff…it would be a lie not to say so.

But…
What is grand… and what I love…
Is being a mom.
And loving my girls.
And hearing them call me Mommy.
And listening to them laugh together…
Or splash in the bath.
I love holding their hands…
Kissing their cute toes.
And hearing them breath in unison in their room at night.
Knowing they are safe.

So we are great…
We are a family…
maybe not the traditional family…
but we are our family.
…And just so you know I fully intend to have a hot husband one day.
And if you know of any…
976-BABE – that’s me.
Send him on…
boy do I have a list of to do’s for him.

Cherished Memory #503

Scene Setting & Characters:

One innocent Mommy, driving from point A, to B, to C, to (sigh)…on a Saturday morning with her then-six-year-old daughter in the car.

ACTION!

Kid: “Mom, you know Blah Blah, from my class?  ’Blah blah says “X@!#XX!” all the time and so does So-and-So.”

Mom: “Really? Oh my goodness. I can’t believe kids are saying those bad words! What potty mouths!”

Kid: “And So-and-So also told his big brother to  “go to X%$!@&!” at the playground!”

Mommy: “What? Oh my.”

Kid: “And Blank Blank called her sister a “^^&!!)D@”!

Mom: “Yikes Sweetie. That isn’t good.  I wish people wouldn’t talk like that.”

Silence.  Mom trying to think of a way to deliver a lecture about bad words without sounding lecture-ish.

Kid: “Mom?”

Mom: “Yes?”

Silence.

Kid: “Sometimes when you’re mean to me I call you some of those bad words in my head.” (frowny face, guilty look, about to cry lip-quiver over the admission)

Mommy: (Hold it. Hold. It. Nope. Not working.) Bursts out in laughter! And, before she can stop herself, says,”I used to do that with my mom too!”

End Scene: Cherished Memory #503

You may remember me writing about kissing kids (and fainting mommies)  not too long ago.  And now, I know what you’re thinking.  How could a training bra possibly be linked to eating boogers.  Am I right?  Of course I am.

I’ll tell you how they’re related.  Read on at your own risk.

1:12:00pm Mommy: Driving along innocently last Saturday, happy about how sunny it is in late October, happy about…

1:13:00pm Daughter: “Mom? Can I have a training bra? My friend <Blah Blah> has one and so does <Blah> and <Blah>.”

1:13:30pm Mommy: WHAT?!  WHAT?!  But! But! You’re just…WHAT?

1:13:50pm Mommy: “Hmmm, really honey? I didn’t know that they had them.”

1:14:00pm Daughter: “They do.”

1:14:10pm Daughter: ”So when can I get one?”

1:14:50 Mommy: “Uhh…errr…let me think about when we have time to shop, ok?  We’re really busy.”

1:14:57 Daughter: “ Ok…..Mom?”

1:15:00pm Mommy: Crap. WHAT NOW? “What?”

1:15:05 Daughter: “Did you know that <Blah>, <Blah>, and <Blah> still eat their own boogers?”

And there you have it…presenting the world of a nine-year-old: training bras, and booger eatin’ all rolled into a three minute conversation.

I need a hot fudge sundae dammit.

One quick recommendation while we are on the subject of boogers…as we head into flu season.  If your kid is one of those kids with a nosey full of boogies, try out SinuCleanse.  It’s a safe and simple way to clear out your kids’ nasal passages with a saline solution (which is what the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends).  It has an easy to aim nozzle that does not need to be inserted into the nostril…check it out so they don’t eat ‘em!

- Swati

Well if you enjoyed my post from a few days ago, “Mommy, Your Butt Just Ate that Cotton,” Cherished Memory number 407, you’ll probably also enjoy Cherished Memory #619 below…

Main Characters:

1) One Daughter, age 9

2) One Mommy, age…what?

3) One Orzo puppy, age 8 months

The Setting:

In the car, right after school.

ACTION! Begin Scene:

Daughter: “Mom, the teacher let us bring home our social studies test to finish at home.”

Mommy: “Ok honey; well why don’t you do that first then, ok?

Daughter: “Well ok but I really need it to be QUIET at home or I won’t be able to finish it.”

Daughter: <HUGE SIGH>

<PAUSE>

Mommy: “Ummm, Sweetie, aren’t you the source of noise at home…?”

Daughter: “Well there’s Orzo.”

Mommy: “But he’s a puppy and he doesn’t speak or bark.”

Daughter: “Ok fine. It’s noisy because you’re always doing dishes and stuff and it’s really noisy when I’m trying to do my stuff!”

WHAT?

<Mommy Twitches>

Cost of cherished memory #619: Nothing, but also an hour a week of Daughter’s time, because she has a new, detailed list of chores.

End Scene: Cherished Memory #619

<Warning: Proceed with caution; this post is not for the faint of heart…or butt>

Cherished Memory #407

Main characters:

1) One beloved single mom doing her very, very, very, best

2) One little three-year-old who always has something ‘portant to tell her mommy, especially when mommy is trying to pee

Begin Scene:

The potty, with mommy on potty

ACTION!

Mommy: Gets tampon from cupboard and starts to put it…well, you know…

Kid: Comes busting, screaming, thundering into bathroom and says, “Mommy, guess what I did! Guess what I did?!” Kid stares at Mommy.

Mommy: GULP!

Earth: Stops rotation

Kid: Eye widen like Grand Canyon, then screams,”Mommy! Your butt just ATE THAT COTTON!”

*FLUSH*

Mommy: “No, sweetie, my butt didn’t…uh…would you like to go to Disney World?”

Cost of Cherished Memory #407: Priceless, but also $3209

End Scene: Cherished Memory #407

Hi Everyone – I am so honored to be a part of Blog Action Day today!  Today’s topic: Clean Water.  There’s tons of facts and ways to donate at http://blogactionday.change.org – but read on (and please click the button on the right) to hear some truths that I found shocking…

Did you know that almost a billion people on the planet don’t have access to clean, safe drinking water? That’s one in eight of us who are subject to preventable disease and even death because of something that many of us (including me) take for granted. Further, 42,000 people die each week due to unsafe water and unhygienic living conditions – and 90% of those people are children under the age of five!  Unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of diseases and kill more people every year than all forms of violence, including war. Children are especially vulnerable, as their bodies aren’t strong enough to fight diarrhea, dysentery and other illnesses.

In Africa alone, people spend 40 billion hours every year just walking for water. Women and children usually bear the burden of water collection, walking miles to the nearest source, which is unprotected and likely to make them sick. Time spent walking and resulting diseases keep them from school, work and taking care of their families. Along their long walk, they’re subjected to a greater risk of harassment and sexual assault. Hauling cans of water for long distances takes a toll on the spine and many women experience back pain early in life. With safe water nearby, women are free to pursue new opportunities and improve their families’ lives. Kids can earn their education and build the future of their communities.

PLEASE Click on the button on the right to help – and consider a small donation at blogactionday.change.org (did you know just $20 can provide someone with safe drinking water for 20 years?) 100% of public donations will directly fund sustainable water solutions in areas of greatest need.

Thank you so much for reading this and have a great day -

Swati