How to Write an Online Dating Profile (guest post by eHarmony UK)

Posted by Swati on Nov 17, 2010 in Dating as a Single Mom, Guest Posts |

WOW!   Am I ever thrilled today to share a guest post from eHarmony UK on how to write an internet dating profile.  I was contacted by them and could NOT resist because, as some of you may know, eHarmony holds a special place in my heart…because….as some of you may also know…J. and I met on eHarmony!  And, as he makes my toes tingle and, as we are to be wed on New Years Eve this year (yippeee!) I would say it’s worked out well…now the funny thing is that I always thought it was odd that people could meet online (as evidenced by the fact that I held out until 2008 to try it).  It’s SUCH a personal thing – how does a computer fit into it?

I’m rather traditional when it comes to dating, but, as the article below acknowledges,”having a job and kids to look after does rather restrict the amount of time we can spend loitering around funky independent bookshops and provocatively sipping cocktails in trendy city bars.”  Yup.

In any case, I got frustrated one day because I was doing nothing to find a mate and so I *grudgingly* joined eHarmony  for 30 days.  I still can’t answer how computers mesh with love.  All I know is – it worked!  So, enjoy this article from eHarmony UK and definitely come back to share your adventures with me.

– Swati


How to Write an Internet Dating Profile, from eHarmony UK

Being a single parent is hard work.  You can end up feeling a tad isolated and it’s compounded by the fact that we get home and, once the kids have gone to bed, we are on our own most of the time. We get up and do “parent” things – take the kids to school, go to work, pick up the kids. It’s not terrible by any stretch of the imagination – the kids are lovely and great company – but it would just be nice to have some regular adult company and perhaps something a little more intimate than a cup of coffee and a moleskin diary to share your hopes and dreams with.

Does this sound like you? If you find yourself in this literal no man’s land, it might be a good idea to try online dating. It has to be something tasteful, mind you. There is part of us that worries the whole thing is a little bit sleazy, but there must be plenty of normal, well-adjusted people online, surely? You’re all lovely people, right?

Having a job and kids to look after does rather restrict the amount of time we can spend loitering around funky independent bookshops and provocatively sipping cocktails in trendy city bars. So, we could to do what we do best these days – get online.

It can be difficult, though, to write an interesting dating profile, and near impossible to describe the man you are looking for. Just how do you stand out from every other person who likes ”evenings-in with a film and a nice glass of red wine”?

Here are some suggestions…

Don’t complain

Don’t moan about work, dating, or anything else that causes you dissatisfaction in your online dating profile, mainly because this kind of negativity is a big turn-off.  Honesty is the best policy – the more realistic you are, the easier it will be for the right kind of person to make contact with you. Sooner or later, any economies with the truth will be revealed!  Consider this little write-up:

“I don’t do this normally but thought I’d give it a shot. I’d like to meet someone who is creative, inspirational and likes cultural activities. I can’t stand people whose idea of a cultural Saturday afternoon is watching football and going down the pub. It’s such a waste of a weekend. I also can’t stand people who like cats, rock music, Star Wars, chicken balti, melon and cheese and onion crisps. I’ve been down a rocky road over the past few years, so I’m looking for someone to get in touch who thinks they can handle a Vivaldi-loving, ambitious, creative and fiery woman.”

No one wants to meet up with a Debbie Downer, so keep the “I’m too cool for school” attitude to a minimum. Usually, negative profiles will contain at least one of the following – “I can’t stand…” or another classic, “I can’t believe I’m doing this, but…” Your profile should look to satisfy someone with similar passions, not make them feel like they’re your last resort!

This would result in a dinner for one, for a long time.

Avoid cliches

Steer clear of the same old descriptions full of banalities such as “I’ve always thought that life is for living”, “I love to laugh” or “I’m looking for someone special” – they mean nothing and make you sound more like a greeting card than a real person with real desires.

“I love watching sunsets on the beach while holding hands” may be the most used cliche in dating profile history. Who doesn’t like this? Find another way to describe yourself that’s unusual and unique.  Read this to see what we mean:

“Not sure what to write here. I guess I love watching sunsets on the beach whilst holding hands. Candlelight dinners and someone that can make me laugh are also qualities I look for. I am also successful, have a great sense of humour, humble, hardworking and am wise enough to make you a priority in my life. Seeking someone real and tired of playing games – I need to meet someone who will introduce me to new things, adore (or put up with) my wacky moods and keep me in line. Very important: a guy whose profile does not include a shirtless photo or a photo of him with his car. Not my type. I am looking for a man who is confident. I’m looking for a guy who likes to plays but can be real. Not a player. I’m looking for a man who is intelligent, funny, handsome, patient, responsible, loyal and that makes me feel safe.”

Not too much to ask for in a potential partner is it…?

Be original

Think about what makes you unique and try to convey that in writing. That’s what will make you stand out and what will make other daters find you attractive!

Being original is good but make sure you don’t go too far! Although you think your profile demonstrates someone with an incredible sense of humour, to others it may sound rather different. Avoid “I’m the one your mother warned you about.” Another gem is: “OK you got my attention now what?” Then there’s my personal favourite: “E=mc² but what equals me?” If you try too hard, you just sound sad or silly. If you think what you write sounds quirky, email it to a friend to see their reaction.  Here’s what we mean:

“I’m the one your mother warned you about. Nice but a little bit naughty, I’d love to show you I’m a sensitive soul with a sassy spirit given the opportunity.  I don’t like to play by the rules. I’m game for something new. If your favourite Muppet is Miss Piggy, there is a good chance that we just won’t get along. Don’t take that the wrong way – she just really annoys me. If you are keen on Kermit, let’s meet up!”

There is a fine line between quirky and just plain oddball!

So, if you feel like you have been through a protracted period of unsuccessful dating lately, try making an online dating profile to make things easier and do a bit of the groundwork for you. If you get a response that shows compatibility with your profile, you are on the right track!
Have fun!

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  • Kelly Ozley says:

    Nice! I should have looked at this BEFORE I tried eHarmony. Remember my issue with “gender”. How funny. Another pointer, always remember to check the right gender in your profile. hee hee

  • liz says:

    I have never used an online dating service, though I know many people who have had great success (and eventual marriage) by using them. My brother included!

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