Mommy, Your Butt Just Ate That Cotton!
<Warning: Proceed with caution; this post is not for the faint of heart…or butt>
Cherished Memory #407
Main characters:
1) One beloved single mom doing her very, very, very, best
2) One little three-year-old who always has something ‘portant to tell her mommy, especially when mommy is trying to pee
Begin Scene:
The potty, with mommy on potty
ACTION!
Mommy: Gets tampon from cupboard and starts to put it…well, you know…
Kid: Comes busting, screaming, thundering into bathroom and says, “Mommy, guess what I did! Guess what I did?!” Kid stares at Mommy.
Mommy: GULP!
Earth: Stops rotation
Kid: Eye widen like Grand Canyon, then screams,”Mommy! Your butt just ATE THAT COTTON!”
*FLUSH*
Mommy: “No, sweetie, my butt didn’t…uh…would you like to go to Disney World?”
Cost of Cherished Memory #407: Priceless, but also $3209
End Scene: Cherished Memory #407
11 Comments
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Oh my GOSH, that is one of the best things I’ve ever read. Thanks Swati!!
Sawti, that is so funny and in a sense real! Last week, my almost four year old told me I had pampers! She follows me everywhere I go since she was one and a half!
that made me laugh out loud….I fondly remember the days when peeing was a solo act….
I know – I never pee alone anymore!! That “fond” memory is from about 6 years ago – but it’s a classic and shall never be forgotten!!
Swati
That is hilarious!!! Holy crap. You definitely give up bathroom time when you have kids.
I literally fell on the floor laughing…. that was awesome : )
OMG. OMG. OMG.
I laughed until I almost peed my pants and then I had to go to the bathroom which you know I can’t go into alone because the 6 y/o who lives with me and never wants anything from me until I am in the bathroom followed me in there like always and then I thought about you again and then I was laughing and peeing and telling Sunshine to please leave all at the same time and it’s all because I read your blog post.
So.
HAHA!!! Jenn!!! Hilarious that she walked right in there with you – and I know you can relate!! Your daughter of course wants to join in the fun, right? Right.
XO – Swati
This was hilarious. I have a son and this story would be more horrific if the tables were turned. PSA: Always lock doors, lolol!
Too funny .. are you going to share that your son’s graduation or wedding!
ah