The Engagement and How I Became a Trendsetter

Posted by Swati on Sep 10, 2010 in Dating as a Single Mom, Meaningful Mommy Moments |

My last post, The Wedding Announcement, made an implication about me – only it wasn’t actually about me.  So I can see how you may be a bit wary of me starting this post with “The Engagement…”

Have I set you up again or will I come through?  Is this post a metaphor or is something actually going to happen around here?!

Don’t fear, my treasured reader – I am so coming through for you – like a rocket if I do say so myself (to be factual, it’s J. who has come through for us, but why quibble over details when there is a lovely band ‘o love wound around the ring finger of my left paw?)  Meow!

After being a single mom since 2003, I am now engaged and so very happy (yes, you can take a moment to wipe off the gush and sappiness I just slobbered all over you).  Let me say this: when I got divorced, I thought, no way.  Not happening again.

But it did.  And here’s how it went…

J. and I had been talking about getting married “someday” – just ships “sailing in the night,” both wary based on previous “nautical” experiences (am I taking this analogy too far? We both had terrible divorces).

We decided to get engaged towards the end of the year, and we went ring shopping (ok I insisted I had to go because I wanted a wedding band…or two :-)…and no solitaire…and it had to be just right).  Why two?  I need a gold one and platinum one (to wear separately) depending on the rest of the jewelry I wear that day.  Now the funny thing is that I don’t actually wear that much jewelry – but a girl likes her flexibility, know what I mean? (This is about when my girlfriend pointed out that women everywhere were going to follow suit and insist on engagement rings in platinum, gold, pink gold, white gold….and thus I am a trendsetter…which is fine with me).

If I had to guess, J. was pretty psyched…wedding bands only…no big ole’ solitaire to have to sell his first born to afford.  It wasn’t until we went shopping that he realized that the bands needed to be diamond studded.  I love him and his innocence.

At the first store, the sales woman showed us 107 rings for me; then she turned to J. and said, “Would you like to try on some bands too?” And J. came back with “What? Me? No…”  He was in shock and I contemplated throwing my glass of water towards him to bring him back to earth.

At the second store he said he would take a look (7 seconds), no luck.  At the third store,  he looked at just ten rings and was done!


I had to go back everywhere and re-try everything four or five times.

Finally, we went to make our final decision…and I fell, hook, line and sinker, in love with three wedding bands, not two.  Two in platinum bands and one in gold.  I stared and stared and stared and repeatedly pointed out how delicious they were.  And then J. said “I’ll take all of them.”  Did I mention I love him?

I burst and did what I imagined Marilyn Monroe would do if presented with such gorgeous gifts – threw my arms around him, gave him a luscious kiss, and cooed at him in a sultry voice (ok fine, I wasn’t anything like her – I was screamy and screechy and I planted a million smooches sloppily all over his face while I babbled away and J. stared at me in shock and mild horror).

In any case, the woman behind the counter said the rings would be sized and ready in three weeks and we said “No big deal” because we weren’t planning to get engaged for a few months.  Apparently when I went to the ladies room, J. told her he needed one of those rings sized by the next day!!

The next day, we went out to dinner to celebrate our two-year dating anniversary and we ate where we had our first proper dinner date (Volare).  I had gotten J. a card and he said he wanted to read it at the bench where we first met for a coffee, near the Chicago River.  Now I am usually the sappy one between the two of us so imagine my happiness that he brought up “our bench”?!  We sauntered over after dinner.

At the bench, he opened my card, and I told him the last years had been wonderful.  And he said, ‘They have been wonderful. We should get married.  Will you marry me?” and he pulled out one of my gorgeously gorgeous wedding bands!

And then I did what I imagined Julia Roberts would…oh hell, no I didn’t.  I squealed again and laughed out loud and stared and wasn’t at all composed as I hugged and kissed him and sputtered half sentences like: “WHAT?!  But how?!  When did you?  But I thought?!  Oh Wow!  Oh my!  WHAT?!”  Then I finally remembered to say YES!

Did I mention I him?  Because I do.

– Swati

Tags: , , , , , ,


  • Mandy says:

    Fun post … loved reading about the proposal. Congratulations!

  • lauren s. says:

    I could not be happier for you and J and your daughter!!!!!! Wishing you love my friend! Yey!!!!

  • Swati says:

    Thanks Mandy – I haven’t written in so long because I was busy being on *Cloud 9*!

    Thanks Lauren – I’ll happily take that love :-)!


  • Marla says:

    Congratulations, Swati! Wonderful news!!

  • CB says:

    sounds like a fairytale!! Dreams do come true! congrats and awesome post! 😉

  • Alice says:

    Awwww. That’s a perfect engagement story. Congratulations and best wishes for happiness like this always.

  • Swati says:

    Thanks Marla and Alice – it’s good feeling that tickle inside again :-).


  • Swati says:

    Yes, yes CB – more of that fairytales coming true part :-)!

  • Kelly Ozley says:

    I think you are on to something here girl – multiple rings. I do like the sound of that. Really cute story. I may have your Jay coach my next boyfriend. :-)

  • Vivianne says:

    Congratulations Swati! I am truly, truly happy for you. From one divorcee to another, I wish you a lifetime of happiness.

  • mrsblogalot says:

    Triple YIPEE SWATI!!!!!! How awesome (I need to come up with a much better word for this!) That is so romantic and sweet and beautiful and gorgeously slobbery and….

    Now I’m all carried away and almost forgetting to tell you how very very happy I am for you! How lucky you are that your journey has led you to such a fine prince.


  • Danielle says:

    Wow – how wonderful for you Swati! You gave me chills a the end … and I am sappy too … I have tears in my eyes. Thank you for the wondeful love story.

  • Liv says:

    Wow! I’m a new reader and a new fan, but let me say best wishes anyway !!!!

  • Swati says:

    Thanks all – so glad to know I am in good sappy company – ha!


  • Erin says:

    Swati – I already knew your news, but the engagement story is hilariously self-deprecating and fabulous Swati! It warms my heart and soul to know things can happen in the universe like this to 2 people who had gone through horrifying divorces (like myself). I am truly happy for you!


    Here’s a little humor at my expense from today:

    As I’m standing in a grocery store cashier line, an athletic, attractive, at most 30-year-old with a good quality 6-pack of ale in hand winks at me. Then smiles and makes eye contact.

    So because no one EVER flirts with me (especially not someone athletic and younger), the following is what runs through my mind:

    1) He has Tourette’s syndrome.

    2) He must like dumpy middle-aged women.

    3) I am hallucinating.

    4) How I miss days when a good ale and a group of friends was nirvana. . . now I can only drink nonalcoholic beer ’cause ever since childbirth some hormonal shift makes me puff up and turn into a lobster. . . and friends are few and far between.

    Then I simply smiled back at him, bought my dinner sandwich, and left for the ride home.

  • Jenn says:

    Aww! I am such a sucker for a sappy engagement story. Sending you internet wishes for much luck and happiness!

  • Kerissa says:

    Swati, I’ve been so busy and haven’t read many blog posts since July. My Google reader count is at 175 but this story was the first that I clicked on. I’m a hopeless romantic. I do believe that you were sent to remind me that love does/will happen and I do will have that sappy feeling to share with the world. Wishing you all the richest blessings as you being this new phase of your life. From one trend-setter to another I’m banking the ring idea, lolololol!

  • Swati says:

    OMG Erin – hilarious!!! Next time, you must promise to wink back!!

    Kelly – be careful what you wish for because J. doesn’t believe in separating colors and whites :-D!

    Thanks Jenn for the sappy internet love – I’ll take it!!

    Hi Kerissa – SO nice to see you back online (I’ve slacked off this summer too)…and I can’t wait to hear about you multiple rings one day…plus feel feel free to add on to the trend with necklaces and bracelets!

    Thank you so much for your good wishes all –
    XO – Swati

  • […] T&#1211&#1077 Engagement &#1072&#1495&#1281 H&#959w I Became a Trendsetter | T&#1211&#1077 Single Mo… […]

  • Ria says:

    I want pictures of the ACTUAL 3 bands!!!! Love this post, Swati… AND you probably did exactly what Julia Roberts would done in your shoes!


  • At last I’m catching up! Did you hear me shriek? Woot!!

    I really look forward to exchanging notes in the near future… so happy for you!

  • Swati says:

    Me too Single Mom Seeking :-), me too!

    ps good luck on your wedding day – you deserve a perfect celebration!

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags:' <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>


Copyright © 2015 The Single Mothers Chronicles All rights reserved.
Desk Mess Mirrored v1.4.2 theme from Theme redesign by Wright PC Consulting, LLC