The Wedding Announcement
Every now and then you get one of those emails that make you burst out in an absolute fit of laughter – know what I mean? Well, I got one from a friend from my college days where she reflects on the experience of watching her 30 something year-old brother marry his 3rd wife…get ready to laugh with reckless abandon!
- Swati
p.s. Yes, I realize some of you may have thought I meant my wedding announcement…but no… 
THE WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT
Sorry, dear, I got your message that you were searching for my brother’s wedding announcement in the paper. You just must have missed it. Perhaps the paper accidentally put it in the obits instead? At any rate, I have copied it for you below…
After 20 years of waiting, we are happy to announce the marriage of Tim Holder to Jackie Sang on Saturday, August 21, 2010. Following a made-for-TV melodrama involving a failed marriage to a neurotic bisexual vegan vegetarian from Slovakia and a whiplash ill-conceived marriage that ended in annulment to a psychotic Brazilian adult film star 15 yrs his junior, Tim finally decided to marry the girl of his family’s dreams – with NO BAGGAGE.
The wedding was officiated by a mystical looking preacher woman of unknown origin and attended by a small group of the groom’s overweight family members as well as Jackie’s loving and beautifully dressed relatives from Thailand. The bride wore a lovely traditional Thai gown of white with hand-embroidered gold embellishments.
The groom wore an ill-fitting suit and shoes that didn’t match. The father of the groom wore Sears off-the-rack circa 1978 and the mother of the groom wore shoes “2 sizes too small.” The wedding was lovely and surprisingly uneventful, despite the shifting of the earth’s platelets as the groom’s parents, recently divorced only 35 yrs ago, were awkwardly forced to be in the same room together without incident.
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Is this for real? This is hilarious!
That’s the amazing thing Monique – all of this is TRUE!! I’ve lived it through her for the last 15 years! It’s nuts and just so unbelievable – but we’re so happy now that he’s settled!!
Swati
Ha! This could be copied and paste for quite a few of my and my husband’s family members.
“Without baggage.” Too funny.
OMG — I love this — hysterical. I will get her to write my wedding announcement …. once I get a date.
Oh geez – Amber – we have to get an announcement written about your hubby’s family!!
Kelly – bummer that there’s an order to all of this…but let’s have her write an announcement about your dates ok
?
Swati
OMG I just about died! That was hysterical. It does make you wonder what everyone is really thinking when you send those things out. So funny! And I’m re-tweeting now because this needs to be shared by others!
Hi Tiia:
I’d love to get an announcement as truthful as this one (maybe that’s what I’ll have to send out – haha!)
Thanks for RT’ing it!!
Swati
p.s. names changed to protect the not-so-innocent!
I love it!!! I wish them all the best. Love your illustration as well.
Thanks Peryl – all free at photobucket.com!
Swati
OMG Swati! This is too funny!!! And even more so because it’s true!! Sometimes the best stories are nonfiction, huh? I’m glad your friend is finally settled and happy. Sounds like he had a few doozies before. I’m also excited for your upcoming nupitals!! (dont you just love that word?) So happy that you are happy and in love. xoxoxoox
That was the funniest ever.
BTW- I was completely fooled by your title. I logged onto my site for the first time in weeks, saw your title on my blogroll and immediately began giggling like a little schoolgirl, thinking “yay! She’s getting married, married MArrieD!” Harumph.
Anyhoo, I can’t wait for your day to come…. wink wink!
Hi Vivianne:
I won’t disappoint you!! It’s coming, it’s coming!!
Swati
LOL – that is fabulous!
I am a new follower from MBC and would love for you to come visit me over at http://www.createyourtraditions.com.
so happy I found yoU! Great blog! I am following on FB..and will try and get goggle to allow me to follow but its very temperamental today!:) love your writing style!
http://www.singlemomina complicatedworld.blogspot.com
oops…
http://www.singlemominacomplicatedworld.blogspot.com
Good blog!. I just happened to stumble across it the other day. I thought this article was pretty funny. It is good to hear a single mom’s perspective on things. Since I am a single dad it’s good to hear the other side of things to help keep me grounded
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