The Relationship – Chapter Four (a very short story)

Posted by Swati on Mar 19, 2010 in Short Stories |

As she waited, she saw the outline of a woman’s reflection in the large glass store-front behind her bus stop.  The woman emitted tired surrender, with slumped shoulders and little movement.

Dreading, but knowing, she turned her head slowly for a direct glance at herself.

Her own reflection kept startling her.  When she woke, at bedtime, in restaurants, wherever she was. Every time she saw it, the familiarity of her former self faded a little more.  It couldn’t be her. Yet it was her.

When she arrived home, she went into the bathroom to stare at herself.  Her face looked gaunt, tired.  The eyes that always danced were now vacant.

She cried.

The Relationship (links to all chapters below)

Chapter One http://tinyurl.com/yhou79l

Chapter Two http://tinyurl.com/yksuuvn

Chapter Three http://tinyurl.com/ygurdm6

Chapter Four http://tinyurl.com/yzbeolz

Chapter Five http://tinyurl.com/yfewu4r

Chapter Six http://tinyurl.com/yzdwro8

Chapter Seven http://tinyurl.com/ykh2982

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17 Comments

  • lauren s. says:

    I love, love, love your blog!!!! Keep it coming!

  • Mayra says:

    It just keeps getting better. I already get a sense of the character and what person she has “become.”

    You’re doing a fantastic job!”

  • Vivianne says:

    I’m really enjoying these little teasers. You can actually feel the emotions. Are you going to string them together by any chance?

  • Heather says:

    I think your writing gets better and more descriptive with each chapter. This chapter REALLY left me with a sense of the sadness within this character. Keep up the great writing! Can’t wait to read the next chapter.

  • Ayesha says:

    Funny…the emotion captured at the end of the passage is a poignant one many women have known. Good job.

  • Jillian says:

    Swati,

    Your stories are really good, your breaking out of the mold which is exactly what I need to do. I feel like I have been writing from a safety zone. I think it is because I know that my in-laws and my mother are reading.

    I have a story called, “What Bitch?” and I do not have the courage to publish it…yet. It might be too distasteful, but funny…. and true.

    Thank you for your words of encouragement and I will say them back to you, keep it up…your heading places!

  • Jillian says:

    woops…you are breaking out of the mold..eyelashes are still folded together.

  • Naomi says:

    More more more!! I love these, Swati.

  • Robin says:

    Poor thing! I feel like that statue sometimes, too. Great writing. Keep it up!

  • Swati says:

    Ladies,
    Thank you so much for your continued support! I am really having fun writing this short story – though pouring over each word agonizes me (so what’s new?)

    Jillian,
    A warm hug right back to you for your support on my “break” from the norm (though to everybody at my Starbucks, I look *exactly* the same….little do they know). I can’t WAIT to read you story when you are ready. I mix fiction and non-fiction and it gives me courage to post the not-so-comfy topics. Sometimes I get a raised brow…but I shamelessly use my innocent eyes to my advantage :-) .

    Robin,
    I knew it was the right pix for this post as soon as I saw it! Actually, that’s how it’s been for all of the pix with this story.

    XO – Swati

  • cher says:

    Stopping by to say Hi and Happy Follow Friday! Now following you! Sorry it’s so late!
    I have a whole bunch of giveaways going on if you wanted to check them out!

    Visit Mama’s Money Savers

  • I want more. It’s so good, Swati!

    Peryl

  • Danielle says:

    Swati – you draw us in!

  • Show Me Mama says:

    You have a fantastic blog. I can’t wait to read more. I am your new follower from MBC. My blog is http://showmemama.blogspot.com/ come visit when you get a chance.

  • Paula says:

    You are brilliant!

  • Swati says:

    Aww shucks guys…you are so sweet…and it’s just the kind of encouragement I need as I seem to be great at psyching myself out!
    Swati

  • Holly Bowne says:

    Hi Swati, for some reason I was unable to connect to your blog from your comment on mine. So I came back to MBC and found you again! I love what you’re doing here. Each nugget (chapter) is so powerful. You’re doing an excellent job of capturing a sense of the emotions of each main character in these short paragraphs. Great stuff! I can’t wait to read more.

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